Saturday, April 10, 2010

"Ang pusong maawain, ay pusong maunawain."

That was what the homily was about 2 weeks ago, I wanted to blog about it, but I was too lazy to do so, or was just too preoccupied with review and clearance that I didn't remember to do as I planned to.

When I heard of it from the priest, a scene flashed back into my mind, It was saturday back then, just before that Sunday when I heard about the phrase which was taken from the bible, Dad was driving back to the south when we came across a man along the road approaching SLEX where cars were speeding. He was holding a plastic bag, panicking and hastily picking up pieces of white stuff, it took me a few moments before I realized that what he was picking from the ground were grains of rice. It made me contemplate about life, the things I have and don't, the complaints I make, and the value of everything. It made me fall into tears, actually, good thing it was already night time, so dad didn't notice that I was already crying. I don't know why, I felt pity and guilt when I saw the man, it was as if he came from a long tiresome day at work and he's bringing those home for his family, when a vehicle suddenly whipped off the plastic bag of rice he has at hand. The grains have dropped into the cement, yet he's still picking it up. The peculiar thing about me is that, everytime I hear a situation, I tend to put myself in the position. Okay, I'm weird. So what. Anyway, it's actually funny when you think about it, but I do get really affected by these simple things, that is if we could really consider them simple.

POVERTY --- who says poverty's a simple issue/problem? Had it been simple, then it should've been resolved long time ago. But no, it hasn't been, up until now. So this challenge goes to all the candidates for president. If you think you're great enough and efficient enough to resolve poverty in this country, then by all means, do as you say. I'm tired of the set of lies I keep hearing again and again on the radio. WELL, ACTUALLY, I REALIZED, that instead of paying up for the expenses that advertisements, flyers and whatever bull you produced just for the sake of winning have caused you, maybe you could just spend them on the people who needs it more than your Ego and dignity does! PROVE YOURSELVES, CANDIDATES. The Filipinos doesn't need broken promises and never-ending campaign songs to listen to 24/7. They're irritating, the more we listen to them, the more we like you less.


Friday, April 2, 2010

Give me something worth being happy about


My Dad and my brother's leaving tomorrow for the states, to visit Mom, and to have a vacation. I'm really happy about the fact that Mom's gonna have company there, finally. Before, I was even insisting that they spend the Christmas season there, even without me. Really. That would make me sad, though, I wouldn't deny that. But I really don't mind prioritizing Mom's happiness this time, seeing her happy makes me happy anyway. It just sucks a lot that bad luck was just plain too inescapable that I was not granted visa to US. And Mom can't go home just yet. It was heartbreaking, really, it felt as if my world fell apart. And it didn't happen once, but twice. My hopes let me down TWICE, in just a month.


That Christmas break plan didn't push through, though. And they just decided to have it this Summer Break since Jeth doesn't have class and Dad isn't so busy with work, and besides, he totally needs a break from all the office work-stimulated stress. It's a well-deserved break they're having, and I all I could do is to wish that fate worked the other way around, for me.

T'was just this evening that I found out that I can't stay at the house in Filinvest, Cainta since there are a lot of them in the house and there's no room left for me. So, I decided to just head to the dorm right after sending dad and jeth tomorrow at the airport. Yes, I'd rather be alone and sad than to cause people so much hassle.

I told mom, I'd just stay at the dorm and review my notes. and answer practice tests for the board exam. Not that I'm some masochist who prefers to be alone, I just refuse to be of burden to other people. No matter how depressing that is.

I refuse to eat as well, all these weight gaining's making me really annoyed that my family's making me eat a lot, and I couldn't even control my appetite anymore. It saddens me. :( I gained twice of the weight I lost last 2 weeks ago. :(

I HATE THIS.