My Dad and my brother's leaving tomorrow for the states, to visit Mom, and to have a vacation. I'm really happy about the fact that Mom's gonna have company there, finally. Before, I was even insisting that they spend the Christmas season there, even without me. Really. That would make me sad, though, I wouldn't deny that. But I really don't mind prioritizing Mom's happiness this time, seeing her happy makes me happy anyway. It just sucks a lot that bad luck was just plain too inescapable that I was not granted visa to US. And Mom can't go home just yet. It was heartbreaking, really, it felt as if my world fell apart. And it didn't happen once, but twice. My hopes let me down TWICE, in just a month.
That Christmas break plan didn't push through, though. And they just decided to have it this Summer Break since Jeth doesn't have class and Dad isn't so busy with work, and besides, he totally needs a break from all the office work-stimulated stress. It's a well-deserved break they're having, and I all I could do is to wish that fate worked the other way around, for me.
T'was just this evening that I found out that I can't stay at the house in Filinvest, Cainta since there are a lot of them in the house and there's no room left for me. So, I decided to just head to the dorm right after sending dad and jeth tomorrow at the airport. Yes, I'd rather be alone and sad than to cause people so much hassle.
I told mom, I'd just stay at the dorm and review my notes. and answer practice tests for the board exam. Not that I'm some masochist who prefers to be alone, I just refuse to be of burden to other people. No matter how depressing that is.
I refuse to eat as well, all these weight gaining's making me really annoyed that my family's making me eat a lot, and I couldn't even control my appetite anymore. It saddens me. :( I gained twice of the weight I lost last 2 weeks ago. :(
I HATE THIS.
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