Losing your right to breathe

It's been months, and I really couldn't say that I'm a hundred percent okay, but at least there's been a lot of improvement. Aside from ridding away my eating disorders, I've finally gained back my appetite, yeah, my usual I-don't-care-about-how-fat-I-am appetite, but I do care, I just don't know how to control it. This is clearly manifested by the great amount of weight I gained, considering that I still jog.

Also, I've gained back my ardor for writing, I realized that, love isn't just about that feeling of butterflies in your tummy, or that feeling of elation you get everytime you think of a certain person. Love is everywhere, family, and my true friends who chose to keep their loyalty with me, my passion for writing, photography, and studying for the board exams --- these are the things I consider to be of great importance to me, they give me inspiration, same with love.

 this is where being deprived of a visa brings you --- out of the picture.

It's funny how people think I'm weak, some even told me they were surprised to have seen me during graduation, in one piece and alive, and still unsuccessful with my countless attempts for suicide. Well, my brain as of now has no room for suicidal ideations anymore. Thanks to my friends who never gave up on shedding light on my ill-functioning brain.

To those who believed that I can make it through all these, thank you so much, you don't know how essentially significant that was to my survival. My learnings from pediatrics and psychia has shed light on my blurred thoughts and has proven to me that MISTRUST really originates from inconsistency, and a great support system could definitely pave way for a weak and depressed person out of her sorrows and misery.

faith (M.I.A.), where art thouuuu?

I've transferred to another dorm for the duration of my review, and it's been great staying with grade-conscious people who also dream of becoming a topnotcher, to prove themselves to people, and to gain self-actualization (according to Maslow's heirarchy of needs). They make it a point that I study well and not just waste time on facebook and with sleeping. Thank you, lovelies. :)

With where I am at now, It just feels like gaining my congenital right to breathe, guiltless, and worry-free. Now I'm ready to study for the boards and pass (OR EVEN TOP!)

<3

thank you, everyone!

Thank you, Papa God! :)