That Phase.

What scares people most about leaving is the uncertainty of what lies ahead. How do they start anew? How do they digress from the broken past? How do they begin their new journey without that one person who has always been there? How do they commence their healing?


COURAGE and PAIN. Once people have finally mustered up the courage to leave their broken state, when they’re too tired of pain, that’s when life restarts. I have been in that same broken situation before, when I badly wanted to move yet my desolated heart wouldn’t, because it had a tiny bit of hope in it. When it hankers for healing but the only way to get it cured is by letting go, and I wasn’t willing -- so I remain shattered and reluctant to put the pieces back together. Until I got fed up with making mistakes that have already seemed to be a routine.


I have lost myself while sulking in the pain that I’ve brought upon myself. I have become a mess, flunked quizzes, missed project deadlines, and I developed trust issues. Fortunate was I that my friends had faith in me, they believed in me, and they never gave up on wanting to save me. They made me realize how much of a mess I have become, they helped me get back up from the failures that I made happen, they bailed me out of the darkness I’ve fallen into, and because of that, I am more than grateful.


They gave me strength so I could go through the gloomy days, they rescued me from my downfall, and because of them, I was able to muster up the courage to get myself back, and even better. Just when I was on the verge of losing everything I immensely worked hard for, I was resuscitated, and their love helped me heal.


Everything I learned from the principles of psychiatric nursing was indeed factual and reliable – a person with a firm and good support system could withstand anything, and that she needs to know that people actually care for her to want to continue living. A depressed person also needs time to dwell on the reason for a certain period of time to be able to achieve acceptance.


Truth hurts, but sometimes, pain is everything you need to incite you to move on. I was lucky that I didn’t have to go through that phase with just the pain from truth. God was so nice to have given me great friends, too, who gave me a lot of reasons to smile and live. Really, Lord. I couldn’t thank you enough, but I’m sure to love them more than I am supposed to.